A puking dog, Utter Exhaustion, and 8am this morning...

ok, so if you've been wondering why i haven't blogged in over a week it is because of the above reasons. i've been up to my knees in dog puke, mixed with early mornings and late nights for the past week. i was looking forward to not being awake before lunch this morning...i mean i was really looking forward to it. i've been drifting home from work all week, desperately looking forward to my non-committed saturday to replenish my sleep debt (which has been racking up more debt than the american economy...Zing!). but alas, my full week of getting up early and going to bed late only conditioned me, and at 8 am (three hours before i was planning on waking up) guess who was wide awake? that's right me...this was the word for word conversation that my wife and i had this morning.

i get up, get dressed, she rolls over opens her eyes and says, "why are you up?"
i respond the best way i know how, "i don't know." then i proceed to the reading room because i am up for the day...at 8am on a saturday...stupid brain.

ok, so through all the sleep depravity i have had a couple realizations this week. first: minnesota weather is for those with personality disorders...case in point, thursday, high of 86, sunny, breezy, perfect to get my afternoon sweat on. friday, high of 56, WINDY...this morning, rainy, 36 (when i woke up), cloudy all day. if you have a hard time making decisions as to what your favorite weather is, come to Minnesota at any time during the year, you never know what tomorrow's going to be like.

second realization: most organized meetings take WAY too long...i had four meetings last week, each took at least twice as long as they should have. there was one that i was in charge of (it was kind of towards the end of the week...when i was really tired) that moved along smoothly...it was nice, we gathered, met, discussed, and there was minimal wasted time. i know it's not that personable to cruise through a meeting...but i have the mindset (and let me make this perfectly clear...i would rather hang out with people building relationships any day of the week) of, if it's business let's talk business, if it's personal let's talk personally. i think, "let's get through this boring stuff that we don't want to waste time talking about so that we can get to a time where we can waste (or maybe better understood as spend) time and get to know each other." i will sit in the hall talking with someone for hours...but if i have to be in a meeting that lasts longer than an hour then i start going crazy.

third realization: my "job" is distracting me from my ministry. yeah, it sounds like an oxymoron i know...doesn't make sense. my job is ministry right? so saying that my job is getting in the way of my ministry is a contradiction right? well...yeah...kinda... maybe it should be better stated like this: a lot of the "work" that i have to do as a Youth Director interferes with the time that i get to spend with youth building relationships and ministering to them. for example, i have to plan for a graduate's breakfast on the 17th (i have never done anything like this and is a long distance from anything in my "interests" list), then i have to get volunteers and logistics finalized and in order for VBS three weeks after that...and not to mention our summer missions trip the third week in June. so what i'm saying is that i am spending WAY too much time in my office typing on my computer, making phone calls, organizing that some times it feels like i only do youth ministry on Wednesdays...is this what i was hired for? i mean i know these things are within my capability to organize and do. and the summer missions trip is something that i know i should be in charge of, but when my week is filled with more "planning" than "ministry" then there needs to be change in the works. it will lead to a program driven ministry, which will mean burn-out in less than two years' time.

anywho, all this to say...i need to get out more...